things done, and left undone

Today I made a mistake.  Not that I don’t make mistakes every day, but some mistakes seem to have the effect of an avalanche, one small snow ball becomes the whole side of a mountain careening down the slope.  

I have made the same mistake in the past, and will probably do so again.  Some would suggest that it was not even a mistake, but I know better.  

Years ago a dear friend shared some advice that they had received on the day of their ordination.  The Bishop met with those who were about to be ordained and told them to make the Daily Office their own.  Morning Prayer, Noon Day Prayer, Evening Prayer, Compline pray them each day like your life depends on it.  The Bishop was adamant counseling those about to be ordained that there would be days when the only thing that they will have to hang onto is the Daily Office; make it your own now, so that when those days come you will be prepared.  

I remembered those words vividly, almost 11 years ago, when at 5:30am we received a phone call that my sister had died by suicide.  Phone calls at 5:30am are never good, and this one left all of us wondering what was next.  It was then that those words came to me: make the Daily Office your own because you will have days when those prayers are the only thing you have to hang on to.

Morning Prayer helped me to get through that day, and then the next day; one day at a time. 

Today looked to be an easier Monday than most, no school chapel and a series of morning meetings were all cancelled because the office and school were closed.  The only scheduled commitment was a video conference with Mother Shivaun at 9am.  That is when I decided that a quick trip into the office, prior to my 9am meeting, to get some books and files was in order.  That was my mistake.

The quick trip to the office meant that I did not say Morning Prayer.  It was mid-morning when Mother Shivaun and I completed our discussions and by then my to-do list was long and preparations for the Vestry meeting loomed.  

We had already begun making plans and sharing ideas for a Holy Week and Easter celebration that might be virtual, so when Bishop Budde announced in an email that our worship and gatherings would remain suspended until 16 May it would seem that it would have been very perfunctory.     

That is when I realized my mistake, when I realized the things left undone.  

Having said Morning Prayer would not have affected the decision by the Bishop, but it would have changed the affect of those words.  Even the expected can be jarring when you are not prepared, and I was not prepared – I had not started my day with Morning Prayer. 

So forgive me for those things done and left undone.  A mistake by itself may not be bad, unless we don’t learn from it.  This is a lesson that I will keep learning every day that I let my schedule take precedence over God’s call to prayer.  

Heed God’s call to prayer.

God be with you until we meet again.

Fr. Henry+