Looking outside

I have been married for 23 years, and while that is worth writing about it is not my topic. The point is that I have worn the same ring on the same finger for 23 years. In those 23 years just a few people commented on the distinctiveness of my wedding band. In the last 4 weeks at Virginia Theological Seminary I have had more people comment on my wedding band and identify it as a Moebious strip than I have had people even notice it in the past 23 years.

Curious I thought; how is that so many people at VTS recognize the Moebious strip that forms my wedding band?

I gave it some thought and wondered about the people who I am associated with now and those from my past life. I found a difference that would explain the sudden recognition of my unique wedding band.

Those from my past associations are, to some degree, inner-focused. They might listen to the radio station WIFM - What’s in It For Me? When you consider that most, but not all, of my past associations were with business people the inner-focus is put into perspective. The business world is by nature competitive and self or inner-focused. It is in a crude way “all about me.” When you are focusing on “me” and “mine” then noticing other people is not a priority. I don't say this to be unfairly critical towards the business world and those in it. Many of those people do wonderful things for the community around them. And often it is their focus that enables these good works.

In contrast, the VTS population and most clergy, though not all, are outer-focused. They look inward so that they can look, and serve, outward. The primary concern is for others. I believe that it is this pastoral outer-focus that allows others to see and be alert to those around them. This outer-focus notices little things like unique wedding bands, or someone who needs a helping hand.

Am I outer-focused? Probably not as much as I should be. I have many years of business culture to unravel. But this was a good reminder for me. As I have noticed my own wedding band these past several weeks I am gently reminded of the differences between inner and outer-focused people.

Christ was concerned for others - outer-focused, so much so that He gave his life for us. I am seeing that being modeled for me by the VTS community. It is just one of the many lessons I hope to take with me.

Shalom,