The Smoke Rises

Today the chapel at Virginia Theological Seminary was destroyed by fire. It is amazing how quickly someone, me, can become attached to a building. But the chapel at VTS was more than a building, it was a place of worship and formation. My mentor worshipped there as a seminarian about 60 years ago. Countless students worshiped there three times a day for 130 years. The formation of deacons, priests, and bishops occurred within the chapel. The joys and sorrows, the prayers and tears that filled the chapel have all been laid to rest by fire.

There are physical aspects of the chapel that can not be replaced like the Tiffany window or the African wood of the altar rail. Another window and different wood will be used when the chapel is rebuilt, but it is really the spirit of the chapel that is lost forever.

When I visited the VTS campus last spring it was Eucharist in the chapel that helped me to know I belonged here. As a student this fall I looked forward to 8am Morning Prayer in the chapel on Monday, it was a great way to start the week. During our Quiet Day this fall I spent time praying in the chapel and getting to know the chapel. I sat in different places, I read the plaques on the wall, I touched the wood of the altar rail, I became very attached to the chapel.

Now I am looking at the probability that my time here at VTS will not include a chapel. Yes the chapel will be rebuilt. And yes I will be here for the ground breaking of the new chapel. But it is probable that the consecration of the chapel will not occur while I am still a student, these projects just take too long.

Of course worship will continue somewhere, but it won’t be our chapel. It will be some other temporary building and that seems to fall short of what our chapel brings to everyone.

I am not certain what my formation as a priest will be like without the chapel. With God and the VTS community formation will occur, even without the chapel, but it will be different.

In closing this is the prayer offered by the Very Reverend Ian Markham as the VTS community gathered:

Loving God, we give you thanks. Our sense of loss is great—so our pain, our worry, our concerns. We give you the thousands of memories that go with our chapel. We trust that in you our memories are captured and saved for our eternal life. We give thanks for the community services that came to help us—firefighters and police. Our community is at prayer, and we give thanks that the fire was contained and that no lives were lost. We give you our concerns and worries. We pray for wisdom and discernment and we offer this moment and ourselves to you. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen

Looking outside

I have been married for 23 years, and while that is worth writing about it is not my topic. The point is that I have worn the same ring on the same finger for 23 years. In those 23 years just a few people commented on the distinctiveness of my wedding band. In the last 4 weeks at Virginia Theological Seminary I have had more people comment on my wedding band and identify it as a Moebious strip than I have had people even notice it in the past 23 years.

Curious I thought; how is that so many people at VTS recognize the Moebious strip that forms my wedding band?

I gave it some thought and wondered about the people who I am associated with now and those from my past life. I found a difference that would explain the sudden recognition of my unique wedding band.

Those from my past associations are, to some degree, inner-focused. They might listen to the radio station WIFM - What’s in It For Me? When you consider that most, but not all, of my past associations were with business people the inner-focus is put into perspective. The business world is by nature competitive and self or inner-focused. It is in a crude way “all about me.” When you are focusing on “me” and “mine” then noticing other people is not a priority. I don't say this to be unfairly critical towards the business world and those in it. Many of those people do wonderful things for the community around them. And often it is their focus that enables these good works.

In contrast, the VTS population and most clergy, though not all, are outer-focused. They look inward so that they can look, and serve, outward. The primary concern is for others. I believe that it is this pastoral outer-focus that allows others to see and be alert to those around them. This outer-focus notices little things like unique wedding bands, or someone who needs a helping hand.

Am I outer-focused? Probably not as much as I should be. I have many years of business culture to unravel. But this was a good reminder for me. As I have noticed my own wedding band these past several weeks I am gently reminded of the differences between inner and outer-focused people.

Christ was concerned for others - outer-focused, so much so that He gave his life for us. I am seeing that being modeled for me by the VTS community. It is just one of the many lessons I hope to take with me.

Shalom,

brick by brick

Amen, fittingly that was the last word I spoke before entering silence.

Twice a year the entire seminary community enters a day of silence and prayer. There are no classes, course work is to cease, cell phones and computers are turned off. The entire campus is silent. The mid-day meal is eaten in silence.

I was struck by how warm and friendly everyone was, without uttering a word.

I spent part of the morning wondering through the cemetery that is on campus. Sitting in the cemetery I wrote down these thoughts:

Sitting in hallowed space

Beneath a dog wood tree

This tree, who the legend says, chose to never grow so large as to have wood suitable for the cross of a crucifixion

This tree whose beauty belies the pain of the Passion

I sit on a bench in memory of the daughter of a seminarian.

Alice Mae died at the age of 6 months and 10 days

What a blessing she must have been to her family

I can only pray that the VTS seminary community was also a blessing to this family in their time of need

Each person memorialized before me has built the church that we have today. The lives of these people, both clergy and laity, became the bricks that form our church.

What substance do I have to also form a brick?

Shalom

The Humble Shall Be Exhalted

During a recent orientation session we participated in a Bible study(several actually). The Bible study was from the lectionary for this Sunday; Luke 14:1,7-14.

On one occasion when Jesus was going to the house of a leader of the Pharisees to eat a meal on the sabbath, they were watching him closely.
When he noticed how the guests chose the places of honor, he told them a parable. "When you are invited by someone to a wedding banquet, do not sit down at the place of honor, in case someone more distinguished than you has been invited by your host; and the host who invited both of you may come and say to you, `Give this person your place,' and then in disgrace you would start to take the lowest place. But when you are invited, go and sit down at the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he may say to you, `Friend, move up higher'; then you will be honored in the presence of all who sit at the table with you. For all who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted."
He said also to the one who had invited him, "When you give a luncheon or a dinner, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, in case they may invite you in return, and you would be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind. And you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you, for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous."


One of Jesus' parables. How he loved to teach in parables, he invites you in and then – wham!
There you are looking in the mirror.

When I reflected on this passage I was reminded of several clergy that I have known and who have been a positive influenced on me. These specific clergy, both Bishop, Priest, and Deacon, were humble. How I wish I could say that all clergy, and all humankind for that matter, reflected the humbleness that Christ asked for, but we are all human so that is not the case. Though these specific clergy through their humbleness were also the most powerful and most effective clergy with whom I have been associated.

My reflection led me to see that those clergy who seemed to seek power seemed to have power elude them. And those clergy who freely gave power to others seem to be the most powerful and the most effective. I write this not to criticize any clergy in general or specific, rather this is a written note to myself, a reminder. I was so profoundly affected by the realization that their effectiveness resulted from their humbleness that I wanted to remind myself of this. I want to model my own life after their example. The lessons of Christ and the modeling by these clergy will guide me as I form my own life and ministry.

I also want to thank those clergy for modeling for me Christ's invitation to be humble.

Your servant in Christ,

When you sing you pray twice.

Registering for fall classes should not seem like a challenge but I found some interesting hurdles this year. In the past, as a first year student the path was clear. Now as a middler the path is confused by my transferring to a different seminary. I can't proceed with a typical middler schedule as there are some remaining 1st year requirements that have presented themselves due to the transfer. Well this is not really a big hurdle, just something that deserves attention.

The hurdle I found is listening to what I need to take compared to what I want to take. By 'need' I am not thinking about academic requirements, rather I am thinking about what I 'need' to become a better person and potentially better priest.

So I looked at the courses that I did not want to take; things that would make me turn and run. Chief among them is a course in singing for the musically challenged. Yes, that course would make me turn and run, so I signed up for that course.

I guess that if I am going to wear the fancy clothes then along with the Prayer Book I should be able to carry a tune. My suspicion is that the course requirements will have several text books, probably hymnals, and a bucket. Many of us need a bucket to carry a tune.

I am reminded that my wife tells me that a voice is a muscle and it just needs exercise and conditioning. This is the same person who thinks my singing is fine. I guess love is blind and tone deaf.

Well, there is a special place in heaven for the person who can teach me to sing and chant.

And while there is no prize for studying what you 'need' to study rather than what you want to study I suspect that there will be a reward someday in the future. Even if that reward is simply not attracting amorous cats or scaring little children when I sing the effort will be worthwhile.

So, this fall semester, with God's help I will learn to pray twice.

Shalom,

Bacon and Eggs

Doctors and cholesterol take the backseat, I do enjoy bacon and eggs for breakfast. It is a guilty pleasure. Now however I have more appreciation for the meal.

It requires both pigs and chickens to make bacon and eggs. But it does not require the same of each. The chicken contributes eggs to the meal. The pig however is totally committed to the bacon; it requires complete sacrifice.

Well in the past, I have been the chicken. I chose to attend a seminary in my home town. Life was disrupted and income affected, however it could return to a semblance of normal if it did not work out. Yes, like the chicken I was only contributing to my seminary education and theological formation.

Well now pigs can fly. And this pig has flown the coupe to go to Alexandria VA. The house is sold, the boxes and bags are packed. The entire family is making a new home and new friends in a new state and new town. My seminary education is continuing in a way best described as being totally committed. Life can no longer return to the previous normal.

I have become as committed to my calling as the pig is committed to bacon.

I have my wife and son to thank for allowing me to be this committed without being led to slaughter.

Peace,

If it is broken, bless it

Jesus took the bread and he blessed it. He broke it and give it to his disciples.

Jesus took the fish and blessed it, he broke it and his disciples gave it to the multitudes.

Take. Bless. Break. Give. The last supper in the upper room, the feeding of the 5000. This is a common theme in the Christian faith. Take, bless, give all makes sense; however, it is when you consider “break” that questions arise. Why must something be broken?

But is it not in our brokenness that we are made whole and holy?

When I started this blog the name “Stained Glass Reflections” just came to me. I have learned to not ignore such inspirations and now I see why this name presented itself. Stained Glass Windows are made up of individual pieces of glass. Each piece is a fragment of the larger piece of which it was once part. It is now a broken piece of glass. It is in its brokenness that the small piece of glass can be united with other broken pieces of glass. It is the unity of all these broken pieces of glass from which emerge a Stained Glass Window. It is broken glass that creates the beauty of a stained glass window. It is in its brokenness that the glass is whole and holy.

As a summer intern in a CPE program this brokenness comes to me daily in the patients that I see. They come to the medical center because of vehicle accident, trauma, gun shot, heart attack, stroke and illness of all manners. And they come in a manner that is often broken and holy. As a chaplain I am to minister to the patient and their family. As a student I learn daily from the patients that I see. I often wonder who gains more in this relationship, the patient or the chaplain?

I think of the patient who I prayed with prior to surgery. This patient had multiple diagnosis any one of which would be overwhelming to must of us, certainly to me. Yet this patient was at peace with their life, with their death, with their Christ. I learned from their brokenness and pray to reach the level of peace that they have found.

I think of the patient who died too young after too long in the hospital. This patient told me how they had found Christ only days before our first meeting. I spoke often with the patient's parents. It was in the grief of their child's impending death that they invited me into their lives to baptize the patient. Surrounded by family the patient was baptized in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Surrounded by family and the patient I was welcomed into their family just as the patient was formally welcomed into Christ's own family. The next day we all mourned the death of the patient, but we also celebrated knowing that the patient was with Christ.

So many of the patients I see talk of the strength they have because of their faith. Some ask me how those without faith manage being in the medical center, it is a question I can not answer. But I can see the differences.

Those who come to this medical center broken so often bless me with their gifts. It is in their brokenness that I am made holy.

It is in the brokenness of the glass that the window becomes beautiful and holy.

Take. Bless. Break. Give. It is in our brokenness that we can give to each other.

Shalom,